What If It Was Completely Safe to Slow Down?

What if it was completely safe to slow down?

Let’s be real. Here in America, in the Western world, for whatever reason, we are so fast-paced. Maybe it’s the patriarchal drive — that fiery push toward a desired outcome, that fierce determination to reach the goal, the achievement, the next thing. And truly, there is beauty in that fire. There is value in that inner strength that rises when you’re moving toward a dream.

But this energy has grown wildly out of balance.

Everyone you talk to is “so busy.” Busy to the point where their health is suffering. Busy to the point where they’re not sleeping. Busy to the point where they’re depressed, exhausted, and not even showing up to Thanksgiving because they “have so much going on.” For some reason, Americans pride themselves on being busy.

But what is this busyness?

We all know addiction is a problem in America — drugs, alcohol, sex, food — but there is another addiction we rarely acknowledge. And honestly, I believe it might be the worst one of all:

The addiction to doing.

The addiction to always being busy.
The addiction to having no time to be still.
The addiction to avoiding the quiet because the quiet feels unbearable.

Stillness is uncomfortable. Stillness brings you face-to-face with yourself. And so, the nervous system says, Keep moving. Keep going. Don’t stop. Don’t look inward.
Because if you slow down, something inside might rise to the surface — and that feels terrifying.

After working with clients all around the world, and after ten years on this path of healing myself and helping others heal, something has become painfully clear:

We are so busy that we forget who we are.

We forget our true purpose.
We forget why we came here.
We forget the soul that lives beneath the noise.

This addiction to doing is woven into the fabric of American culture — conditioning us to always keep moving forward, keep striving, keep pushing, keep achieving. And then we wonder why we’re stressed, burnt out, overwhelmed. We wonder why marriages are failing. Why depression rates keep rising. Why even our children struggle to be still.

Our kids are overstimulated by technology, but also by watching their parents constantly rush from task to task, work to work, obligation to obligation. And we tell ourselves, This is just what I have to do to survive.

I have to be busy.
I have to keep going.
I have to do the dishes.
I have to get to work.
I have to make sure the kids eat, sleep, and grow.
I have to pay the bills.
I have to keep everything together.

And while all of that is true, there’s an underlying anxiety woven through every one of those thoughts — an anxiety that lies to us and says this is the only way life can be.

But… what if it isn’t?

What if we allowed ourselves to be still, even for a moment?
What if we remembered the parts of ourselves that used to feel alive — the inner child or inner teenager who danced wildly to her favorite song, who played, who laughed, who didn’t measure joy by productivity?

What happened to her?

Why does playing with our children feel draining?
Why does planning a fun family activity feel like another task on the to-do list?

Because we’re viewing life as a list to complete, not an experience to be lived.

There is nothing wrong with doing the necessary things — paying the bills, feeding the kids, taking care of the home, showing up for work. We still need to do those things. But the problem is not the tasks themselves.

The problem is the energy of constant doing — without any space to simply be.

What would happen if we gave ourselves even a little time each day to be still… without guilt, without shame, without urgency?

What if we asked ourselves:

What do I truly desire right now?
What do I truly need?

And then actually gave it to ourselves?

I’m not talking about cravings or distractions — not substances or numbing behaviors. I’m talking about true nourishment.

Do you need rest?
Do you need 10 minutes alone in bed before everyone needs you?
Do you need a babysitter so you can breathe?
Do you need quiet?
Do you need to move slower?

Is the world really going to collapse if you take 20 minutes for yourself?

We feel like everything will fall apart if we stop moving — and then we will fall apart with it.

But what if the opposite is true?

What if the steadiness, the healing, the clarity we desperately seek comes from giving ourselves space?
Space to breathe.
Space to cry.
Space to be.
Space to reconnect with our own presence.

There is no magic potion to untangle this addiction from our nervous system.
The potion is presence.

Being here now.
Feeling your breath.
Meeting yourself with honesty and grace.

Because if we learn how to sit with ourselves, truly sit with ourselves, we can finally extend that presence to others. We can teach our families, our partners, our children, our communities how to slow down and be okay.

The true epidemic in America isn’t just drugs or alcohol or technology.

The true addiction is overstimulation —
the addiction to doing.
The addiction to never being still.

If we heal this within ourselves, we begin to heal everything around us.